6: Enter the doggo

<Previous         Next>

cscavar via njorunn-saga.com

Ivan, you should gloss over all of that and immediately start invading peoples privacy. I’m sure you’re better at doing that than invading peoples sovereign nations anyways.

Ivan disbanded his forces, telling them all to return home and if asked, that they successfully destroyed the gnoll settlement.  He promised to still sign their time sheets and verify their workload without having to take he risk of actual combat.  He walked side by side with Einhendra (although offset by a few feet by their difference in height) as he questioned her about her peoples biology and culture.  The rest of the party trailed behind.


“So you really don’t have hearts?  Like, that thing that pumps your fluids around your body in your chest?”


“That sounds weird, why would we have that?  Don’t your veins just squish the blood around themselves?”


“That… you’re the one that’s weird.  I kind of think you’re messing with me.”


“Why did you cut that gnolls head off earlier rather than just letting him die from the arrows?”


“Oh, the general told me to sever the spine.”


“Probably because he knows that torso wounds aren’t likely to kill us and it’s hard to get us to bleed out.  What your general told you to do was correct, and likely he knew how sturdy we were for our size.”

“I don’t mind you knowing any of this since you’re significantly weaker than me anyhow.”


“I… I’m not that bad am I?”


“No, it’s not you.  I’m just a bit abnormal.”

[Thoki & Isobel]

“Just a bit?.” they both say from the back, looking at each-other in awkward silence afterwards.


After a short while, they made it to the outskirts of the uncles estate.


“Jeez.  You mortals are so slow, and seem to only be able to move in 3 dimensions.  This has been the longest trip of my life.”


“It’s only been a half hour.”


“Yea, that and aren’t you only a few weeks old?  The longest trip of your life isn’t really a big deal at this age.”


“I traveled from another dimension and then across the expanses of space in less time than it took us to get to this estate.”


“Well, we’re almost there.

As they approach the stairs, they see a small 3 legged ‘creature.’  It walks up to the party and taps its little feet.


“Is that a crab?  Can I eat it?”


“No, don’t try to eat that.  It’s metal and rock.  It’s one of the golems from the ruins my uncle studies.  We’ll bring it upstairs with us.”

“Also, before we get up there, I have to tell you about my uncle.  He’s a bit odd.  I haven’t seen him in about 10 years, but I’ve heard he’s been hording ‘house gnolls.’  If that’s the case, then he’s kind of a crazy cat lady but with domesticated gnolls.”

“As far as house-gnolls go..  I was under the impression they were nothing but animals that can do little tricks.  However, cryptic letters from my uncle in conjunction with recent events make me believe they can talk and function much like you guys.”


“Wait, humans keeping gnolls as pets?  Isn’t that like, die… deee.. die-meaning?”


“We’ll talk to my uncle because it does sound weird to me now too in light of current events.”



“Guys, can we get there already?  I’m hungry.  Do we actually have to walk up those stairs?  On an empty stomach?  Isobel can you carry me up the stairs?”




“We can take the lift, but it’s a bit sassy and don’t judge me for what I need to do in order to get it working.”


“What’s a lift?”


“Its kind of like a movable floor.  So we stand on it, and the room travels upwards so we don’t have to take the stairs.”


“Lets do that.  I’m too hungry to make it up the stairs and Isobel won’t carry me.”


“Okay, we’ll do that.  Just.. please don’t judge me, just believe that this is necessary for the lift to function.”

“And as far as what I need to do…” he says, trailing off a bit.

Ivan walks around behind the stairs where a metal door is shut tight.  He knocks on the door and then says “Hey baby, what’s up?”

door 1


“Oh, it’s you.  What do you want?”


“Don’t be like that elevator, we haven’t seen each-other in like 10 years!  Don’t you want to get to know me again?  Why don’t you open up and give me a ride?”

just get in baka


“Fine, just get in.  But don’t think I want you guys in here or anything.” the elevator says, huffing as it opens its doors.


“You’re the best, doll!”



The party stands awkwardly in the elevator as it goes up.  Everyone silently judging Ivan for what just happened.  The door opens immediately into a lab with a medium sized house-gnoll looking back at the party.

intro to scavar


“Oh.  That elevator works?  I was just going to go to PleaseBurger for a 3 AM snack.  If you could, could you get out of my lab so I can lock up?”

“Wait, is that Franklin?” the gnoll follows up with, pointing at the small golem accompanying the party.  “Hand him over!  I’ve been looking for him all day!  I’ll treat you all to a PleaseBurger meal, on me!  I need him to finish up my thesis.”

<Previous         Next>

5: Yea, we’re all still here.

<Previous         Next>

cscavar via Njorunn-saga.com

Oh right, the army, the army that attacked our town. That army.

Tronn via Njorunn-saga.com

>Tell the invading army that the war is cancelled, they can all pack up and go home now. Better luck next time seeya!

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Ivan the human walks up to introduce himself to the new strange people.  He coughs to get everyone’s attention.

hey look it's that guy I stabbed


“Oh, hey Ivan Mcgotstabbedintheliver.  How’s it going?  I kind of forgot you were here.”


“Thanks, I guess. So are these friends of yours?” he says, before turning to the new individuals.


“Sure.  Why don’t you introduce yourself then and we’ll get back to business.”

GreatKaiserNui via Omegaupdate

Army of humans: Be confused.


“Right.  So, uh… hi?  Nice to meet you, strange sky people.  Lady Einhendra and I were discussing the terms of my surrender when you showed up.  You’re more than welcome to join I suppose.” the human offers as he tries to figure out what exactly is going on with his life.

“And Lady Einhendra: since you said earlier that you don’t have a grand hall any longer and that you can’t ‘officially’ make decisions yet, would you want to come with me to my uncles estate?  It’s only a nights travel from here and he has a lot of booze that I really think I’d like right now.  This also means that we can sign an accord of some kind outside of the view of your father.”


“Will there be food?”

tigerioreo via Omegaupdate

Ein: Recall the thing that Thoki is talking about.

Njorunn: Notice the thing that Thoki is talking about.

Gutrake: Is Thoki food? You think he might be.


“What the small blue muscley one said, is there going to be food?” the guy says, trying to determine if the smaller gnolls count as food.


“I’m sure my uncles servants will be able to make something for us.”

[Einhendra & Gutrake in sync]

I’m in!


“I think we’re friends now.”  And under his breath he says “friends, not food.


“Sure.  That works, you look like someone I should train with.  Gnolls around here don’t get nearly that big so you must be doing someth-”


“Okay wait, wait.  Before you go off into some kind of attention deficit tangent let me get this straight.  This human kills a few of our people, trying to finish off the last of our people.  Then out of literally nowhere a demon thing falls from the sky but then it’s a little kid for some reason.  Oh, but it’s not over yet, because these other guys also fall from the sky, strike silly poses, a-”


“Yea, that was a neat entrance!  I want to strike poses too next time!”


“… okay.  And then the human wants the heir to our small and dying kingdom to go with them into human territory now for their surrender?”


“Yea that seems right.”


“I was only here for part of that but the part I was here for is correct.”


“I agree, today is weird.  I really just want to get to my uncles booze.  Much of my world view was questioned tonight and I have no more fight in me.”

Gutrake via Njorunn-Saga


Why is this frame so small?! I will destroy this tiny box!



“Wait, am I out of frame because I’m too tall?  How long have I been out of frame?  Let me get into frame real quick.  I thought I was looking all cool and all with my serious face!” the large tailless gnoll says as he changes position, letting out a displeased huff.

okay thats better.png


“I don’t even know anymore.”

“Human female.  It was Isobel, right?  You’re the only one that hasn’t said something dreadfully strange yet.  I’m not crazy, right?”


“No, you’re right.  This is all stupid.  But my contract requires me to be bossed around by a midget purple dog person in polka dot footy pajamas and to fix bone.  However, the contract doesn’t say anything about fixing stupid.”  She wonders if she said too many words to maintain her stoic image.


“Okay enough of this.  Let’s just go to this guys food building.


“You mean my uncles?  Yea, let’s get going.  Also can I ask an almost intrusive amount of questions as we travel?  I’m kind of curious as to how wrong my assumptions of demihumans were.”


“I’ll allow it.  Narrator, zoom in as a segue to the next scene.”


“I wasn’t really directing that at you, but okay.  What do you mean by Narrator?  What are you talking about?”


“Oh, don’t worry.  I’m talking to m-”



“The camera man got too close.”

giggle stare



what the heck


“Why does reality taste like my legs feel when they fall asleep?”


“That… is a very accurate way of describing what we just experienced.”


“I feel ill suddenly.  I think I’m going to be sick.”


“Don’t worry about it guys.  My computer thought it was being cute.  Lets just go.”

<Previous         Next>

3: Chronicle or whatever

<Previous         Next>

Tronn via Omegaupdate

Everyone: brace for impact. It’s gonna come any minute now. Aaany minute…?





“Jeez, how long till-”


Arseface | Guest via Omegaupdates (wait…)






“Itsa me, Njorunn!”

“Or at least my shade.  I’m trying to make it look like me but I keep accidentally dumping most of my ichor into it and passing out in the process.  It’s hard to get that much ichor this small but I really should start trying to develop my demonic brand.”

“So like, yea.  Why did I rush here again?  I don’t think I asked what the emergency was before hurrying here.”


“Oh.  Hey there.  No big emergency, we got it basically handled I guess.  Right, Mr. Human man?”


“I.. uh… have no clue what’s going on anymore.  I just want to go home and pick up a new hobby.  Like alcoholism.”


“Oh right!  Human, what exactly is your name?  I kind of stabbed you as you went to introduce yourself and I can’t keep calling you human.  I’m Ein.”


“Oh, right indeed.  My name is Ivan Petradoslav.  Don’t pay me any mind though, we can get back to figuring out what to do to fix this after you’re done talking to the purple thing that fell out of the sky.”

Pulsar via Omegaupdates

Ein check if you got super amazing demon powers by trying to laser someone in the face


“Well Njorunn, Ivan and I have pretty much worked things out through a series of stabbings and decapitations.  But since you’re here, what neat powers did I get?  Please tell me it’s laser vision or something.”


“How the heck should I know?  I’m bringing my thane Gwen and some temp to hire minions down here.  They should make their entrance any second now, and Gwen should be able to explain what the specific benefits and powers are.  But if I were to guess, I think you’ll probably get some kind of lightningy-like powers since that’s my thing.”

Random Encounter | Guest via Omegaupdates

give quick summary of story so far with pictures of who people are.

Main and/or Best villain: show yourself and look unbearably smarmy.


“Wait, wait.  What the heck is going on?  Why did a giant two headed dog thing come from the sky and turn into a purple horned gnoll girl?  Why are you just casually speaking with her Ein?  Where did it come from?  Am I the only one confused by what’s going on?”



“Oh! Well then, since you want my life history..”


“No, wait!  That’s not what-”


“I was born from a lightning strike.  Pretty sure there was a fire for some reason.  A horse bit the head off a duck.  I bit the head off the horse.  Then a large bird put me in a sack and gave me a badger for a thane.  I sent the badger to find some mortal realms with some potential minions.”



“I bought a skeleton for the skeleton war  from a nice older gentleman.  Then I got alerted by the previously mentioned badger that my newest potential minions were in trouble.”

“I think that sums it up the past few weeks.”



“I have no idea where you picked such a… unique character, Ein.” he says quietly.  “Hold on wait, few weeks?  How old are you?”


“Like 3 weeks old.”

“Anyhow, my minions should be here in a sec.  It’s been too long since they’ve made an appearance.  I hope Gwen told them to strike awesome poses when they arrive like I asked.”

<Previous         Next>

2: The Descent

<Previous         Next>

GreatKaiserNui via OmegaUpdates

Armor Guy: Try to negotiate out of being killed.

Bormac via Njorunn-Saga.com

Human captain! Suggest she check on the health of her housecarl then sneak away while she’s distracted!
Perhaps throw your little horn thing like a stick!
Try to figure out how you put on and remove that helmet, it looks incredibly tight!

The human captain stares at the spear wielding dog and considers his options.  He can’t  throw the horn, since it’s part of the tabard.  It’s a symbol of the hunt, given to the younger knights before they’ve proven themselves in combat.

He decides to do as the other voice in his head said and negotiate for his survival.  The human also thinks that he might have been mistaken in which demi-human settlement he was supposed to clear out anyway.  He shouldn’t let any injustice stand even if it was accidental or was perpetrated by himself.

The armored lad removes his hand from the spear in an effort to show that he wont resist before speaking up.






He probably shouldn’t be acting silly at this moment in time.



“We will withdraw.  To be honest, I believe that I have been misled or that I have attacked the wrong demi-human settlement.  I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I should’ve listen to my uncle and not come on this hunt.”

“We were told to hunt specific demi-humans as part of our coming of age ritual; barbaric gnolls that were nothing more than monsters.  A few other captains and I were given this specific location from our commander.  However, what did we find when we arrived?”

“We find a city with inhabitants that use language, farming, and tools.  We find a leader that is angered when her people are in peril.  This is drastically different from I was expecting.  I really should have realized that something must be wrong, but instead I proceeded with the hunt without thinking, and I am deeply sorry.”


“And as such, I feel like I have done you and your people a great wrong and would like it if we could sit down together to find a way for me to personally make up for what has happened.  It’s obvious you’re not mindless beasts, and I’m no archetypal villain who is unable to see the wrong that I’ve done.”


Tronn via Njorunn-Saga.com

Lick Toki anyway just in case. It’s uh morale raising or something.

[Einhendra to herself]

“Maybe later, when I don’t have more pressing matters to worry about.  I have no clue why I’m thinking something like that now.”


Einhendra takes the spear out of the humans side, placing it in the ground next to her as she thinks for a moment.



“You speak a lot, human.  Even more than Thoki when after a sip of mead.  However, if you’re sincere I think we can come to some kind of agreement.”


“That would be wonderful.  I am really sorry about this.  I never knew wild gnolls could even talk let alone be so civil.  Do you have a grand hall or some location that we can discuss this further?  I’ll call the other captains in for the talk.”


“Well, I’m not the Jarl as of yet and the ‘great hall’ was destroyed when I was young.  But I swear on my wonderful bicep that I will honor any deal we make after my old man passes and I officially become Jarl.”



“Uh, guys.  I don’t mean to interrupt this mae culpa, but why is it getting so cloudy suddenly?  And what the heck is that thing in the sky?”

He whispers to Ein “Hey, do I really yap that much when I drink?”


“Yes, but it’s totally cute.” she answers a bit too loudly for Thoki’s taste before she takes a few steps forward to wave her hand in the air.

“Oh, hey, I’m down here!  What powers did you say I got?  Did I forget to ask that earlier?” she shouts.  “Do you think she can hear me?” she asks Thoki, as she points at the thing in the sky.


“S-stop!  What the heck, don’t draw that things attention; it’s terrifying!  What’s wrong with you?” he says, hiding further behind Ein.


“You guys keep ignoring me at the drop o- oh.”

“No, I see it now.  This is a good reason to be ignoring me.  I really should have stayed home.  I’m taking my uncles advice more seriously in the future if I survive the night.”


<Previous         Next>

1: Reinforcements Approach


Einhendra and her housecarl Thoki stood shoulder to shoulder before a group of human soldiers.  They had both just survived the volley of arrows, though they didn’t get out unscathed.  They fared much better than some.  After the volley, the army approached clad in ‘radiant silver’ equipment.  The material had a pale gold color and gave off a faint glow.

The captain approached a Kaldrhundr (frost gnoll) which was injured in the volley and finished him off.  Ein didn’t know the poor little guy personally, but he was one of her kind and was thus not very happy at current events.  The human captain then casually walked up to Einhendra, unarmed, and demanded that she surrender.   In part due of Ein’s short temper, but mostly because of the current circumstances, the ‘negotiations’ went a different direction than the captain had anticipated.  He now found himself on the ground with Ein’s spear in his side.

Einhendra looked up at the superior numbers and proceeded to calmly counter offer to accept their surrender and withdrawal.







After a few moments of awkward silence, Einhendra presses the spear in and twists it just slightly.



Ein didn’t respond to the silly question.  At the same time she realized that the opposing side hadn’t reacted to the threat against their captain.  In fact, they seemed to assume a battle formation rather than pulling back.  Ein would probably have to fight her way out of this predicament and decided to assess the situation.  She started by assembling an internal checklist of the necessary steps to victory with minimal casualties.

Ultra Super Awesome Battle Plan of VICTORY

  1. Find out how Thoki is doing
    1. Simply ask him how he’s doing
    2. Shake him violently and frantically ask if he’s okay
    3. Lick to see if he has gone sour
    4. Check expiration date
  2. Keep Thoki not dead
    1. Tell him not to die
    2. Hide him behind the curtains
    3. Bury him in dirt.  Humans can’t dig, right?
  3. Discover awesome super powers granted by demon.
    1. Hopefully laser eyes
    2. Mind control
    3. Self control
    4. Fur that didn’t clog the drain after a shower would be okay too
  4. Probably beat a bunch of people up
    1. With spear
    2. With bare hand
    3. With nub of a left arm
    4. With a pickle
    5. With new superpowers
    6. With demon doggy treat???

A truly comprehensive plot to victory.

Step one











At the realms edge


[Curmudgeonly figure that really wants out of her contract]

“What is with this dog kid?  Why is she passed out?  I didn’t sign up for any of this.”

[Aloof figure that just wants to get done with this so she can go drink]

“This is your new boss, Njorunn.  She passes out when she makes a shade.  It doesn’t take her too long to acclimate.  She’ll be fine in like an hour.  So probably by next update.”

“Also, you really don’t need to keep reminding me that you want to re-negotiate the contract.  This isn’t going to be your ‘thing’ now,  isn’t it?  I’ll show you the contract when we’re done here.”

[Figure that is still somehow hungry]

“Do you think if I cooked some meat that she’d smell it and come to?  Also, how do we get there?  It looks like a long jump.”